


i’ll return as soon as possible

by sudden sky (patchworklove)



Series: actual soulmates [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Teenagers, Trans Phil Lester, dan's a dummy, muse references, no beta we die like men, transgender male
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 16:56:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19816549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patchworklove/pseuds/sudden%20sky
Summary: dan joins a soulmate match website because he’s impatient and tiredtitle from misguided ghosts by paramore





	i’ll return as soon as possible

**Author's Note:**

  * For [icosmics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/icosmics/gifts).



> thank you to icosmics for motivating me to write again, i wrote this in two hours and it’s 2am help

dan howell has loved fiona lester for as long as he can remember, ever since she and her family moved into the house next door when dan was a toddler. 

except they’re not soulmates. 

fiona elizabeth lester definitely does not match the “pml” tattoo on his left wrist. but he’s fine with that. as a teenager, he knows he’ll get over fiona eventually and fall in love with whoever “pml” is.

at first he thought it was just a best friend feeling, because he didn’t feel like this towards anyone else he was friends with. it wasn’t until his friends teased him for it that he felt like it was more than just a feeling of friendship. he just liked being around fiona, and how they’re comfortable with each other. 

but it’s never gonna happen, because he’s pretty sure that fiona’s a lesbian and she’s not pml. fiona’s also off to university soon, because she’s smart enough to skip a grade and do an ib program. dan’s gonna start his a levels in the fall.

he’s completely fine with them being best friends, because that’s how it’s always been.

_ // _

in the fall, fiona’s off to manchester. they don’t see or talk to each other because of their hectic schedules (she didn’t even come home for fall break because she’s been so busy), but when christmas break comes around it’s like they never even separated. dan’s fear of not being fiona’s best friend anymore has subsided.

on christmas eve, fiona’s curled up next to dan on his bed, looking at the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. when dan was younger, his mum used to say “may the stars keep you safe,” as a way to help dan with his fear of the dark. the fear went away, but dan never removed the stars. 

they’re in a comfortable silence waiting to fall asleep when fiona says something.

“i don’t think i’m a lesbian. i might be something else. would you be okay with that?”

dan sits up and turns on the lamp. 

“it’s not up to me, fi. you don’t need my approval. i’ll love you just the same, because you’re my best friend.”

fiona takes comfort in that and hugs dan really tightly. 

“thank you, dan.”

//

they kiss on new year’s eve. fiona’s slightly drunk and the clock hit twelve. dan kisses back, because he’s also drunk. they sleep together that night in dan’s room, but she leaves before he could say goodbye, with the excuse of “university scheduling”.

when school starts up again, dan asks out the boy in his creative writing class. his name is pj liguori, and he thinks that they’re soulmates until he catches a glimpse of his wrist and sees “sjn” on his wrist. bummer. but pj is a nice person, and their date turns into a fun hangout. pj beats dan’s ass at mario kart and he loves having pj as a new friend.

dan whines to pj about his soulmate because fiona isn’t around, and he laughs at him in a playful way. 

“if you’re so whipped for anyone with the same initials as your soulmate, why don’t you join a soulmate match site?”

dan just shoves him and they go back to playing mario, but the thought of that haunts dan. it feels wrong, cheating fate on meeting your soulmate. 

//

winter turns into spring, and dan decides to sign up for the website anyways using a fake name under the same initials. he doesn’t really want to release his full name on the internet just yet.

_ dylan james hadden. m, 16, liverpool. my chemical romance xox _

he figures using the same middle name won’t hurt him. james is a pretty common name. after inputting the soulmate initials into the screen, there’s several matches to choose from.

he narrows it down by age, which leaves him with ten, and he scrolls through all of their pages to find one that he feels best suited with. 

_ philip michael lester. m, 17, manchester. likes buffy and video games. _

he laughs when he sees that he has the same last name as fiona, and that phil’s interest in buffy is also the same. he doesn’t tell fiona about it, because they haven’t talked since new year’s and he doubts she still wants to talk.

he sends phil a quick hello before going to bed that night, hoping that he’ll respond.

when dan wakes up, there isn’t a response, but it comes later in the evening while dan is eating dinner.

_ hi! nice to meet you, dylan!! i was studying for an upcoming exam all day :( uni is annoying. to be honest i joined this site for trolls but thanks for messaging me, how’s your day going? _

he drops his fork and his parents are looking at him strangely but he doesn’t care. he runs to the bathroom and texts phil back.

_ school was boring but other than that my day was okay. a levels are the worstttt _

//

soon enough, dan exchanges numbers with phil and texts him all the time. while him and pj were trying to study, dan’s phone kept vibrating with text message notifications. dan quickly shuts it off, but pj’s poking him with the eraser end of his pencil.

“someone’s got a new boyfriend,” pj smirks.

“oi, he’s not my boyfriend. we just met on a soulmate match up site and now we’re friends.” dan pokes back.

“what happened with that fiona girl?” pj asks.

dan shrugs. “eh. we just stopped talking. she’s just really busy with university and me with a levels. she was so busy she didn’t come home for spring break.”

he knows pj can tell he’s lying, but thankfully he doesn’t push it. they get back to their studying, and he texts phil back when pj leaves. 

//

_ do you want to meet with me when i go home to liverpool next week? i don’t really want to go home but i miss my family and i would love to meet you. i know you’ve never seen my face but now you will!!  _

  
  


dan’s finished his final test for his first year of a levels when he checks his phone and sees that phil texted two hours ago. 

he didn’t know that phil was originally from liverpool, but it’s a wild coincidence that he’s grateful for.

_ yes! _

phil sends a happy emoji and they decide to meet at a park that’s five minutes away from dan’s house. he’s never been this happy before, he’s so excited to meet him.

pj thinks it’s sketchy that they haven’t shown each other their faces, but dan says that they made a pact to wait until they meet in real life. besides, there’s other ways to prove that they’re not serial killers. (dan made phil write the bee movie script with his left hand and film it while he talks.)

// 

fiona lester comes home the same day that phil texts him that he’s back in liverpool. dan knows this because fiona rings the doorbell and he can see the front door through his window. 

he can tell that fiona looks different, more  _ masculine _ . her shoulders have gotten broader, and she’s put on more muscle. her jawline is more prominent too.

he pretends that he’s sleeping and can’t hear his mum asking him to get the door, even though it’s 2 in the afternoon. when the coast is clear, he puts on his headphones and listens to music while playing the sims to distract himself from thinking about whatever’s happening. he should focus more on the fact that he’s meeting phil later that evening and not whatever fiona wants with his mum.

//

“did you know fiona’s not a girl anymore? i only noticed because his voice is deeper.” dan’s mum asks him while she bring dan’s laundry up to his room. he’s just scrolling through tumblr on his phone.

“no. haven’t talked to her in a while.”

“ _ him _ . and that’s sad, you guys were really close over christmas. he was looking for you earlier but you were asleep, so i invited him in for tea and muffins.” 

dan’s not really paying attention to his mum, still focused on his phone, but he’s still listening.

“him, sorry not used to it. did he tell you what he wanted with me?” he asks.

“he just wanted to see how you were. we had a pretty long chat about how his studies were going but i forgot to ask him if he had a new name. i’ll ask him later tonight. he’s having dinner with us after he meets his friend.”

dan doesn’t like the thought of his ex best friend just invading his home without even having the courtesy of talking to him since new years, but he doesn’t say anything and just lets his mum fold the clothes while he’s on his phone.

_ only two more hours!!! ^_^ i brought the resistance cd so that you’ll find me _

_ lol i’ll bring three cheers for sweet revenge _

//

dan’s really sweaty. he straightened his hair about an hour ago, and all the pacing and nervous sweating has already made his hair curly and damp again. he tells his mum he’s going out and runs to the park before he changes his mind and never talks to phil again.

he stands there for a few minutes and sees fiona standing a few feet away. he decides to say hello, because it’s polite and he’ll still see phil.

“hi.”

“hi dan. how’ve you been?”

there’s something familiar about “fiona’s” deeper voice that dan can’t figure out yet. 

“i’ve been good. as levels are finished. now i’m meeting a friend who should be here soon.”

“that’s cool, i’m also meeting a friend.” 

dan sees “fiona’s” eyes wander down to the three cheers for sweet revenge cd in his left hand. 

he fiddles around with his hoodie and pulls out something else.

that’s when it hits dan. 

he looks at the cd and that confirms his hunch.

_ fiona  _ _ is _ _ phil _

“would you be happening to look for this?”

dan’s crying now, because oh my god  _ they’re soulmates _ and oh my god  _ phil is fiona _ which is mind-blowing.

he hugs him really tightly, and then kisses him. phil kisses back, and dan is ecstatic. “phil, huh?”

phil’s scratching the back of his neck. “i wanted to tell you during christmas because i was gonna start hormones once school started again but then stuff happened, and i regret not telling you and leaving and-“

dan kisses him to shut him up. classic phil to be rambling about things that worry him. 

“it’s okay. sorry for lying about my name. didn’t wanna be stalked and killed.” 

phil giggles at him, and they’re holding hands as they walk back to dan’s house where phil reintroduces himself to dan’s parents and dan swears that he is the happiest he could be.

but there’s even happier moments down the road, like when they move in together once dan starts university before dropping out. or when phil proposes to dan. and even better, when they get married and have their honeymoon in japan. 

in the end, he’s happy that his crush on his childhood best friend worked out.

**Author's Note:**

> if you liked it pls give it a kudos or a comment uwu
> 
> tumblr: fearoftryinq  
> twitter: twotonques


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